It's true. The sky isn't blue here; it's bleached.

It’s Hot.

Yeah…I can say that, but I don’t think any of you truly understand what that means. I left this morning to go to a dental appointment, and it was already triple-digit temperatures, by noon. Noon people! And we aren’t allowed to wear shorts off-base. (And there isn’t much to do on base). So we are strolling through the heat and sweating. At least, I hope it was sweat…or else my testicles have melted. And that would be unfortunate.

But, we’ve been pier side for three days and this is my duty day, which means I’m not leaving the ship today (other than for the above mentioned appointment). Air Conditioning = Bonus.

There is a certain art form to liberty ports. If you know any sailors, they can probably tell you in their own way what that art form is. But for me, it comes down to people. It doesn’t matter too much where we go when we arrive at one of these myriad ports I have been to, but the people you are there with. Just the other day we had a trip to a local Irish pub. (An Irish pub in the Middle East…who’d a thunk it?) Anyway, the folks I was with were already getting small (On the ride out there we were discussing an old Steve Martin bit from Saturday Night Live…if you know it cool…if not, it means under the influence. Moving on.) After about twenty minutes…a new crowd of folks showed up. These are co-workers in the loosest sense of the term. Military folk know that officers and enlisted don’t usually mesh well. Yeah…upper chain of command shows up…and they are pretty small by this time as well.

So, there goes the neighborhood.

The ensign, who can be difficult to deal with, decided to use a friend of mine’s head as a coaster. Now, he handled it much better than I would have. Had she tried to be cute like that with me…I may have had to remind her that I am not, in fact, a f#&king coaster, and would have asked her to kindly remove her glass from my head. But she didn’t, and for that I am glad.

Tomorrow, I am going to go get a schwarma. It’s like a gyro sandwich…only different. They are quite tasty, and I will enjoy eating one. I am bound and determined to enjoy this liberty port. And if enjoying local cuisine is the only way to do so…so be it.



--I reject your reality, and substitute my own