What. The. Hell.

One of my duties on board the USNS San Jose, is to act as the berthing petty officer (BPO). And normally it entails conducting inspections and making sure that the berthing crew, the E4 and below personnel, are actually cleaning their assigned spaces. However, it is not all candy and pamphlets.

We recently had another room added to our list of spaces, so we had to give it a good once-over. The civilian who lived there previously was…foul. That’s the only way I can describe it. We found a cockroach in his medicine cabinet, and his mattress was filthy. I don’t know what he was doing…but I felt pretty bad for the guys who were cleaning it.

So, after a good field day we finished up, and made it habitable for human beings.

This morning however, things took a turn. When I was making my rounds through the berthing the ships medical officer was inspecting the room. He told me about a few things that needed to be fixed (the mattresses mentioned above), which we were already in the process of getting resolved. And then called me over to the toilet.

“Does that look like a condom to you?”

“Why yes, Doc. Yes it does.”

We had a bit of a laugh about that…but the question I have to ask is…who was engaging in activities that would require a condom? It’s generally frowned upon to engage in sexual relations onboard the ship, and the number of people who knew that that particular room was open was pretty small. I have my suspicions…but I don’t want to throw stones. Besides… if people are enjoying the pleasures of each others’ company. More power to them. As long as I don’t know about it. Rock on. If I were to find out who is doing it though…I’d have to put the Kibosh on it. While I am not going to go on a witch hunt for these folks. I can’t let my silence be perceived as approval. Besides, if the offenders happen to be CIVMARS, then there isn’t much I can do about it anyway. They have different rules from the Navy folks.

--I reject your reality, and substitute my own